so talenos got reaaaaaaaaaally mad at me last night for things that i said at the party. i'm sorry. i feel like shit.

so i was depressed about that and liz, ellee and nicole let me crash out at their apartment. at which i promptly have forgotten my car keys and now have to skip my 9 am math class on the first day it meets...shit.

fuck fuck fuck...fuck fuck.

why is it that i manage to fuck up the even the simplest of things? why do i try to cause myself pain? why do i hurt so much? i want to die sometimes. i scare myself. i hurt my arms to make the pain go away. but it never does, and i make more pain for myself.

i hurt and i'm sorry and guilty of much wrongdoing to numerous people...use and abuse are my middle names, i think.