it blows ass.

i just want a warm body to cuddle up to, pet my hair, and tell me everything is okay. i want to feel loved. i want the brush of a warm hand on my side, holding me close, touching me gently yet with strength. letting me know i'm safe.

and then i remember times spent leaning on your shoulder on the sofa, petting your hair with one hand.

you were always so soft, so warm. so beautifully adorable. just being close to you was enough. but you never felt it. you never cared. you never loved me.

i could win your body, but not your heart.

i wish i understood you.

i thought that for a second i did. that i could see into your soul when you brushed my hair out of my face in your darkened room and looked into my eyes. thought i saw you for who you really were.

i guess i was wrong.

i will not slit my wrists, i will not slit my wrists