the lights dim around us as the first band takes the stage. i stand with my friends, huddled in a little knot about eight feet from where you stand, too near *her* for my liking. the drummer is attractive in that "perhaps he's gay" sort of way, and the whole band gives off a vibe of "we're so emo, we make the emo kids look like pop loving fourteen year old girls". they begin playing and i close my eyes. it's bittersweet, this tune. no words, just sounds that pull at my emotions like a child pulls on it's mother's arm.i close my eyes and wish you were closer, standing there behind me, your arms wrapped tightly around me, warm against my stomach. i think of everything about you as i move in time, foot going down up down up to the beat. the way you licked the side of my face when we lay there in my bed, just because you knew my reaction would be amusing. the way you smiled when you got the reaction you wanted.
i see her hug you, her arms where mine would be in a perfect world. bitch, i think. but really, it's not her fault. it's yours. i'm going to stay away from both of you, you said. kim hasn't been other people in a long time, you said.
yet you sat there next to her.
and i stand there, wishing you were with me, instead of us standing five feet apart and ignoring each other's existence.