i don't think so.

but i let him hurt me. why? why did i let him in? i usually can allow things to pass me by, to not get to me. how did i do this to myself? can i make myself forget? yes, for you i can. for you, i would forget the world.

maybe i do love him.

i don't want to love him.

i want to forget how to love. if i cannot love i cannot hurt. i'd be safe forever in my haven of lonliness. would i wish that on myself?

i may not love him, but i care, and that's the part that hurts. that he would do things like that to me. that he would say things like that about me just to impress this mandy girl. i hate her. i hate her because she has something i couldn't get: his heart.

i hate you, [d.]

i hate you for making me this confused. i never meant to be. and though you might think that i'm attached, that i'm someone to run from...i won't make this mistake again.