why can't i scrub myself hard enough to get the feel of you off of me?

why can't i forget?

i need closure, or something. i need you to say that you hate me. i need to hear you say that you only ever wanted to fuck me. that the looks you gave me while we were in bed together meant nothing. that the way you liked to cuddle and talk meant nothing. i need to hear you tell me that i mean nothing.

tell me that i am nothing to you, and mean it.

but all i really want is the truth for once. the absolute truth.