and i say the things that i think you want me to say. i say the things i think i should be saying at the moment that never seem to fit later. that don't fit the moment i let them escape from the confines of my head and drift through your line of awareness.

so i'm running away now. just all i ask is that you tell me whether or not you want to see me. whether you want to know me better. that's all i want. and if you don't want to see me in that way, tell me. don't string me along because i don't take that sort of shit. if you just want to be friends, tell me. i'll get that pseudo rejection feeling, for maybe a day, find solace in writing or watching movies alone, and then i'll be fine with that.

if i could tell you these things without second guessing myself constantly...i don't know what you want to hear from me, and i don't know if i ever will. i'm not good at telling anyone what i'm really thinking. i'm guarded. i try to stay guarded.

but this is getting to me. being around you makes me happy. i like you and i want to know you better. is that what i ought to have said? because that's really how i feel. and i don't know if you read this. i know you have at least once. so there's always that possibility.

i say the right things but act the wrong way.

"you came to me like a dream, the kind that always leaves just as the best part starts...it ends so abruptly...and leaves you stunned and naked in your bedroom all alone...it's kind of funny how something so soothing gets interrupted by the ring of a telephone.

one thing that i've never said--i'm truly happy in my heart and in my head...a lonely liver suspended in liquid."

--alkaline trio, .bleeder.

hi. i'm confused.

someone explain to me just WHAT THE FUCK I AM DOING????