nothing seems real to me, when we're laying naked on my futon in the dark, your arms wrapped around me. we lie there, silent, and as i drift off to sleep, i realize that no matter what the future brings, i am happy here and now. and although yes, my memories of this day spent unabashedly unclothed in your arms will fade, perhaps to the point that i will someday forget your name, your face, the feel of your warmth against my skin, my memories of this feeling, this contentment with where i am and who i'm with and who i am, those will not.someday you'll look back perhaps and try to remember my name after this is all over. i'll be "that one girl with the ever changing hair color who lived over in Oak all alone".
but for now i watch your face in the dark, sneaking in little glimpses at you between kisses, waiting for the moments when you open your eyes, watch your eyelids flutter open and wait for your eyes to meet my own rather myopic ones. without my glasses you're all that i can focus on within the room, an oasis of calm in the midst of blurred colors.
for some reason, your actions are almost romantic in tone. the way you kiss me and look into my eyes and do something silly. i find it strange, looking into your eyes, and finding them crinkled in a kind of soundless smirk, that you're here, in my bed.
we sleep, wake, and sleep again, and everytime i wake i reach to you to make sure i didn't dream you beside me.
you say, "i should go home". we continue to kiss and roll around on the bed for awhile. You stand up, naked, and pull me to you. and we stand, my arms around your neck. and as we kiss standing in the light that filters around my curtains over both of our skin, the only thing i can think is the words to something corporate's konstantine.
this is to a boy who got into my head with all the pretty things he did hey you know you keep me up in bed this is to a boy who got into my head with all the fucked up things i did hey maybe baby you could keep me up in bed my Konstantine spin around me like a dream we played out on this movie screen and i said did you know i missed you?