so i'm applying to go back to school at dmacc in the fall. i'm going to eat less meat and more vegetarian food. i'm going to take my anti-depressants every day religously. i'm going to get sleep at night, and only allow myself short naps during the day. i'm not going to get drunk much anymore. i'm not going to smoke pot until i get a job, and then if i do it it will be rare. i'm going to meditate daily. i'm going to work on cutting down on smoking and eventually quit. i'm going to read more. i'm going to take bass guitar lessons. i'm going to go skinny dipping in the pool in my backyard (NO BOYS YOU CANNOT WATCH) i'm going to laugh more. i'm going to go to movies alone and enjoy it. i'm going to save up enough money to pay off my debts and get an apartment of my own by fall. i'm going to get a cat of my own. and his name will be conor, hehehe. i'm going to go biking regularly. i might even start running.

i'm gonna need help. but i can do this. i can do this. i will not let this fucking get me. i will not let this destroy me.

"because if i can't learn to make myself feel better, how can i expect anyone else to give a shit?"