so to keep my mind off the fact that i haven't slept in over 24 hours, that i'm out of cigarettes, and that i'm missing ryan like mad, i've been running around like a crazy girl with holly all day.yeeha.
god, i'd do anything if he'd only take me back.
this plan to not think about it is failing. and i really, really, realllllly want a cig... :( boo hoo.
and now i have to figure out a nice way to dump adam. even though we're not going out. but i can't deal with it. i was kissing him the other day with my eyes closed. and i realized that while i was kissing him, i was wishing he was ryan. with all my heart. i was wishing i was in ryan's arms, and not his.
i am pathetic. a waste of human flesh and blood. but hey. at least i've still got my rampant cynicism going for me.
and i was saddened by the fact that neal never came up today. :( no zimmy goodness for the kate, i guess. i wanted to grill him about europe, too. damnit, neal, i'm going to bettendorf on thursday, and i won't be back until sunday night... :P to you for not being able to get up here today. not too serious of a :P, though, as you know i love ya.
i might go drinking with limbo tonight. if so, it'll be the highlight of my day.